After a long time, somehow I thought about this blog and automatically I started writing a post.. as if there is lot inside me which now needs to come out and I want to b free inside...
Life has changed so much and I have changed even more with the course of time.. and to mention not for good but for bad..... although I know each and every factor which has gradually, sub-consciously changed me.....I feel sad for myself...
My patience level has gone down drastically.... I am just not able to stand anything which is wrong in my eyes....especially when Pranshi is affected because of those things... I knew somewhere in my heart I like everything to be just the way it should be..... but now I realise this is becoming a big problem for me...
I always used to say I don't like double faced people....People who change their statements/ view point on any matter according to the situation without considering what is correct and what is wrong... everyone is selfish in this world... even I am to an extent... but atleast I don't think I will start proving wrong things right in any situation.....
I fail to handle these situations... and then the end result is no one understands me and I earn a bad name that I am very short tempered and have no patience at all.... Since childhood I had the strength of ignoring other's bad deeds but never forgetting mine... I always used to introspect so much that where I went wrong... but now everything has changed .. repeatedly same series of scenes happen and am not able to control myself... Why did I change so much? I don't understand ... why cant I be the same Nidhi Mehra, who had lots of patience and was always a peace-maker... I feel sad and bad for my own self.... if I will continue to destroy my own self in this way.... how will I take care of my only child....???
The problem becomes even bigger... when my own partner does not understand what all things are destroying me... even if I explain him... he doesn't want to understand or might be these things are very minor in his eyes.....I feel so helpless at times and start behaving in an undesired manner...
Please help me God to restore my inner strength and beliefs....
Life has changed so much and I have changed even more with the course of time.. and to mention not for good but for bad..... although I know each and every factor which has gradually, sub-consciously changed me.....I feel sad for myself...
My patience level has gone down drastically.... I am just not able to stand anything which is wrong in my eyes....especially when Pranshi is affected because of those things... I knew somewhere in my heart I like everything to be just the way it should be..... but now I realise this is becoming a big problem for me...
I always used to say I don't like double faced people....People who change their statements/ view point on any matter according to the situation without considering what is correct and what is wrong... everyone is selfish in this world... even I am to an extent... but atleast I don't think I will start proving wrong things right in any situation.....
I fail to handle these situations... and then the end result is no one understands me and I earn a bad name that I am very short tempered and have no patience at all.... Since childhood I had the strength of ignoring other's bad deeds but never forgetting mine... I always used to introspect so much that where I went wrong... but now everything has changed .. repeatedly same series of scenes happen and am not able to control myself... Why did I change so much? I don't understand ... why cant I be the same Nidhi Mehra, who had lots of patience and was always a peace-maker... I feel sad and bad for my own self.... if I will continue to destroy my own self in this way.... how will I take care of my only child....???
The problem becomes even bigger... when my own partner does not understand what all things are destroying me... even if I explain him... he doesn't want to understand or might be these things are very minor in his eyes.....I feel so helpless at times and start behaving in an undesired manner...
Please help me God to restore my inner strength and beliefs....
