Forgetfulness about my blog

I was soo engrossed in my life... with my small/ big issues... that i almost forgot about the existence of my own blog...
I started this blog somewhere in feb this year... n till date posted very few posts.....
well... life has kept me occupied always.. with something or the other..... (may b others might think i dont have anything concrete to be occupied with.... but no body knows my mind.. :)
2008... this year literally flew.. like wind...feels like it had just started... n now its ending....n wat did i achieve in this yr ... nothing extra ordinary as a person i blv... but yes in terms of general trend of the world... i took one more step to move along the track on the personal front... :P (I know very wague n confusing statement but will make it clear when things are more concrete...)
Professionally, I have been planning to do some certifications... but just cud materialise the plan... somehow... yes i dont have any valid reason for this ..:(
(hope be in touch with my blog constantly)

Understanding

"The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you, It is when you don't understand yourself."

I read this phrase somewhere long time back but guess dint actually realise the meaning at that time... today I was just reading few of my notepads (yeah I hv my personal folder on my office PC which contains the stuff.. I like reading.. :)) .. and somehow automatically understood the deep meaning behind this...
May be, cause today I am able to somewhat relate myself with this..
yeah I am not able to understand myself.. I dont know wat i want..y I become unhappy.. y suddenly i start feeling low...I dont have answers to questions abt myself...sometimes I feel I am not at all sure where my future is heading to..
I have done both good n bad deeds in my life...I am afraid how wil I have to pay for the bad ones..:( I know everyone would sometime feel like this.. but these days i am occupied with quite weird thoughts which I cant even put in words. These sometimes upset me loads.. n it becomes strange n irritating for those around me... :( But I m not able to help myself..

Nothing interests me these days.. only keeping mum n sitting alone... n just thinking something.. or simply nothing
Dont understand wat kinda feeling n state is this.. i hope i come out of this crap soon..
but i liked n felt that this phrase would have been true for everybody atleast once in a lifetime.. (although for me.. its has been true many a times..)

Analysis

Everybody is constantly trying to understand, analyse, judge others while struggling to change the other person (this hold true for me too). But we forget that changing others is not in our hand... the only thing a human is empowered to change is oneself...
Although it is difficult to believe n understand..but i blv its the truth of the human life...
i hv thgt over it so many times.. n always make up my mind that i m not going to analyse others anymore but myself...
still with the heat of the moment.. i forget everything n react like a very ordinary person...
i dont know whether m right or wrong...but i alwys try to tell ppl who r close to me about their fault.. n may b they think that i consider my self as a perfectionist... although this is not at all true....
i only know.. that if i try to prove myself to everyone ard n try to make them contented.. i ll b at looser's end...
my way of living has always been... always do things right in the right manner n not... deliberately hurt anyone.. although at times.. with the heat of the moment i hv hurted others....but then i hv alwys apologised....
i need to be a good human at the end of the day..
now lets c how much do i succeed... in this......

My First Post

This is the first time.. m writing something for a so called BLOG
frankly, i never thgt i wud be doing something of this sort ever in my life... although i wanted to do it somewhere in my heart.......but................
iska credit goes to one of my fren in ofc...
well... first blog... means... i need to tell something about myself..
my 1st impression is that of a happy go lucky kinda girl for many ppl....
but then there s lot more n many kinda flavours available in my personality which r revealed with the time...
saying this.. i guess more of me will be shown in my future posts...