Saturday, April 4, 2020

When your strength becomes an issue

Each on of us is blessed with some strengths and weaknesses too. But what happens when your strength actually becomes the cause of your own trouble. Yes, that's what I mean.. your own strength starts hurting you in some way.... It is as strange as it sounds..

For example  one's strength is to understand people just too well with the course of time. In other words, one may actually start understanding their facial expressions, their body language, their expectations etc. (obviously, few traits might still be hidden well by others). And this quality helps you a lot in many spheres of life professionally and personally both.

But sometimes this causes problems.

When you know that others act differently in front of you and differently at your back, you know the hidden meaning in the way they converse or indirect messages they want to pass to you, you feel awful. You think why do you need to understand everything, why cant the mind ignore and understand only that is in front of you, why cant you be naive. It hurts.

Such a situation is peculiar and becomes tough to deal with. Your mind starts governing you that dont get carried away with such behaviour and your heart says, come-on, ignore them... you are actually stuck and then you behave in a weird manner which even you cant understand or explain. And you hate yourself for such behaviour because you cant be double faced, that is not in your nature. You can either be good or bad and not both at the same time.

And this is the time you hate yourself and get irritated by this quality of understanding people too well. This leads to the thought your mind is only in an idiotic state which forces you to think just too much.

I am not sure if someone would really understand what I am writing but it is just that I feel better after jotting it down.

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Nature's ways of punishing humanity

Humans are suppose to be the most arrogant (because of obvious reasons) of all the species created by the Almighty. And interestingly, they are the ones who are affected by the tiniest, invisible form of life. VIRUS.

Yes, I am talking about the latest Coronavirus which has suddenly come into existence and has successfully shaken the daily businesses of the human beings. This proves that we dont need to do researches on creating nuclear weapons to protect the country instead we should work on how we can protect the nature so that she doesnt hit back on us in its unique ways.

They say, life is short and I believe it is beautifully complex, out of one's control and beyond our limit of understanding. It is rightly said that when you are busy making plans, life has something else in store for you. Like 3 weeks back, I was so stressed out about my daughter's exams and suddenly in a day everything changed. Ofcourse, the reason was unimaginable at that time. Yes, CORONOVIRUS became the reason.

We fight for all materialistic things for our EGO satisfaction, forgetting how small things can change your biggest of all the plans. Hence, I think we should learn to utilise our life in a meaningful way and spend quality time with our loved ones. We would never know what tomorrow will bring to us but we can surely know what we should be doing in the present.

Hope people realise these minor yet important things in life (I know all this is not new) but thought of penning it down for myself. 

Monday, July 22, 2019

Mundane Life

Life has become very mundane these days.. have started losing interest in everything ... life in office, at home... and the reason is my own self....

There are times when I feel... I have done good for myself in life or to better put it... life has been good to me so far.... but sometimes, I feel I am so ordinary as a human....
there are so many extra ordinary people (with unique capabilities) in this world and when compared to those.. I stand nowhere at all....

I feel such a void at times... that it seems I have just never taken life seriously... If I just introspect, I realize that neither I have any special capabilities nor any special interests in life... I simply dont expect anything from any situation in my life... n I wonder what kind of person I am...

If someone asks me... what do you want in life or what is your ambition/ goal ... I have no clue...
Because I dont dream about anything... but being happy with my loved ones... I just cant stand the dual personalities, negativeness, fights, arguments around myself... it's not that I never get into arguments with anyone (in fact, in past few years it has grown) but I personally never want to be in such situations......If someone is trying to fool me or playing politics with me, I just sub-consciously part some distant from that person...I dont even want to talk about the tricks the other person plays with me... But everyone around me doesnt have a similar thought process.... so have to indulge in not-so-happy discussions...

If would have been born with special caliber, may be would have been a boon for my parents and their problems.. but alas,.... I am such a normal/ordinary person who couldnt think or analyse any problem correctly.... sometimes, I feel I was very selfish back then but never realised... I left my parents to deal with their problem on their own.... to find my own happiness....  :( I am really sorry to them from the core of my heart... but I know this wont help now... dont know what the future holds but plsssss God be good to my parents... even if they did something bad at some point... dont you think they had enough now?? :(